I can't help there's nothing I want more... (Brandi)

I ran across a old picture of you the other day, and i am reminded again of how things used to be. how beautiful you are. And if I didn't already know... i am crazy. Crazy on so many levels for so many reasons. I am like an alcoholic and you are alcohol. I've been through AA. I have accepted that I can never have another drink even have gone several years without one- moved on in so many ways. When I ran across that beautiful sexy picture of you, it was like I was holding a bottle in my hand- admiring the look and the taste but knowing i can never drink. And not by my own will but by yours and so I have to be strong. Its been 5 years. I realize that this state... is me. you are forever who my mind will drift to. I am pathetic and it actually disgusts me. but this is me...

take me as i am.

And I know its going to be... (B. Withers)

This is the first Sunday I have had off it quite some time. I work a lot. Someone asked me yesterday if I was a work-a-holic. My girl immediately responded with a 'hell yeah'. I replied... "I'm just a hard worker :)"

Nonetheless, I am taking its this day. Loving this normal day for being just that. Onassis is sitting next to me on the floor. Tennille, Marven, Oniyah and Eyonnah are in the kitchen cooking Sunday dinner... 'Who's the Boss?' is on the TV. and this day truly is...

a lovely day.

... she shamppos me loc (d. marley)

i am starting my locing process. It frustrating and makes me feel ugly at times... but its rewarding. my hair is groing fast i think. and it is a process. I get that. i am suppose to be enjoying it. Taking it in. and so ... the times when my hair gets puffy and look like a afro when its suppose to look like loc. When it sticks up on top of my head when its suppose to hang and flo. I am suppose to appreciate those times or see the beautiful in my hair finding its way. Well I am definitely not like those moments. but I want my hair to findits way. Its is dificult cuz I think that my hair should be more "in control" than this. But it isn't. its wild... like its owner. and its being tamed... like its owner.

... beautiful!