"I ain't gotta lie to you to make it sound fly to you...."

" I ain't gotta lie to you to make it sound fly to you..."

This diary is just my thought, my struggle, my life, and my love. I title every journel entry with a lyric from a song because i think of life in song (so its only fitting). In between living and loving... I am writing for me. Peace.

"... I'll keep my feet on the ground and bring the sky to you."

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Betta leave that 9 to 5 up on the shelf... (M. J.)

Work- I had an interview today for a promotion at work. The whole time I was thinking, I am not ready for this position. I keep thinking there are others that are better then me. and perhaps that can across in the interview... but i am not sure why i doubt myself. i wish i could see in myself what other's see. I fell like i need to do something. something big. i have an idea.... i just gotta make it happen.

Home- I worked til 8 something so I didn't have to come home and deal with this. Deal with the loneliness of sharing the same home as the one you love but not able to talk to.... I stayed because all i wanted to be able to do was fall asleep and wake up early only to return. I fear this is what I will do when we are done. I fear that I will dive in. and drown in my work. because the alternative is well... deal with the fact that I am... alone.

Love- Guide me so that I can do what is meant for my life. I am emotionless. I can not feel anything. I need some guidance. I need to feel. Pain.

Nothing more to say... just enjoy yourself.

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